I've been crying so much ever since the day you told me that your feelings was not as strong as before alr. I was like asking myself, how could it be? How can feelings fade just over a night? I was pondering. Last time when i used to make you upset, you would rant a little at twitter. But now when i know you're upset, i would go to your twitter, but no tweets were tweeted. I was thinking, is it you dont use twitter as much as before alr, or you can't be bothered when i make you upset anymore.
I cried everyday, even during work when i suddenly think of the things you have said to me. I rushed to the toilet immediately because my tears was almost dropping. I tried so many methods to divert my attention and not think about it to make myself cry anymore. But nothing seems to be diverting ym attention. Every night i go to sleep thinking about you, wondering what you were thinking at that point of time, what were you doing, have i crossed your mind once today? and how was your day.
I woke up thinking about you too. I'm silly. I know you won't text me. But i still look forward to receive your message everyday. I woke up in the middle of the night to check if i've got a text, the same thing when i woke up every morning too. But everytime all i received was a pink screen. Nothing.
Just like what i told you, i'm willing to do anything in order to make your feeling as strong as ever for me. I really have no thought of ending our relationship. I don't want it to end too. You've changed so much ever since the night you told me your feeling was not as strong as before alr.
I got so happy when you agreed to go out with me on thursday. Because i know that's the chance when i can receive your hugs and try to pull back the feelings you had for me in the past. I woke up, flipping around the bed, hoping time will pass faster. I got up to prepare and want to look at my best.
You went to zouk the night before and got a bad headache the day we were going out. I spammed call you. And you texted me and say " Can you stop calling. My head very pain."
I told you sorry and thought that you have went to prepare and ready to meet me. But after 30 mins i asked you if you were still preparing. I thought i would received a reply from you saying "yes. Almost done soon". But in the end, all i got was a scolding from you. " I tell you my head pain alr you still can ask me if i preparing anot. You want go you go. I not going. Seriously i don't know what you thinking" I was so hurt and upset to the maximum. Because in the past you still continue with your preperation even though you have a headache. But this time, i got scolded from you. Wanted to meet you and have a good talk to solve everything out because i don't the way we're behaving right now. But you refused to meet me.
Meow, i know you can't let go of the things i've done in the past. It was my mistake. The wrong step i've took to go back to him after our first breakup. I regretted. Things can't be undone. But im really trying very hard to make it up to you ever since we patched. You told me that this knot is not able to be untied easily, and never will it be. But im willing to try. Really willing to try in order to keep this relationship going on between us. I love you more that you can ever imagine. One day when we end, i will be having a hard time to forget you. It will take me a long long time to forget about you because you've given me the strongest love i've ever felt. The only guy that love me truly and deeply, pampering and spoilt me like a princess. Been there with me through so much of my hard times, giving me hug when im feeling upset. Goodbye forehead kisses. I've you for 3 years. A guy whom loved me for 3 years and through this 3 years i felt so loved than anyone. Suddenly in a night, there's no one loving me anymore. I don't know how am i gonna handle this situation when it happens.
I've left you alone for the past few days to let you cool down and sort out your thoughts. I would be texting you soon. Because i'm not gonna give up on us easily, and i won't. We've been through so much to get till today. I won't let it end easily when i've not tried to salvage this relationship yet. I'll do anything in order to keep you happy and your strong love for me to come back once again.
I Love You Meow. I really do...
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