Sometimes I have no choice but to force myself to be strong again whenever I'm sad. Because I know whenever I tell you why I'm upset with you. You will go like "okay my fault okay" you will just push every blame to yourself and won't try to coax me. Or you will go like "K nvm" or stop giving me a reply and when I text you again you call me to leave you alone. I've been putting up with so many things till I dont know if I've limits.
You put a girls name with a heart shape and a animal emoji exactly with the same pattern as mine. She's the only one you did this to the contact other than me.
You change your phone password telling me you saw a nice car plate and decided to change it. Since when did you learn to lie at me? And the moment you say that I can sense that you're lying through your teeth. There's so many car plate number you see everyday, why suddenly see a car plate and say you like it and change it? I not first day know you. I can straight tell if you're lying anot. You might find me as a sicko when the moment I knew the number of your password, I started to ask about her full name. And it turns out that every number you put is the first letter of her name. I've no idea why I'm so smart too. Thanks.
The chalet thing, I let it go too. I tried not to remember it.
I send you a snapchat, you see and choose not to reply it and tell me "reply for what, here also can reply you what" okay lah then you snap chat with valen can alr. Don't need text her. Text her for what? Legit anot. How ironic when you're telling me this kind of thing.
For the 3 years of my birthday, you didn't call at 12am to wish me, you didn't plan anything to surprise me. And I swore to myself that after all this 3 time, I won't bother calling you at 12am wishing you happy birthday and planning surprises for you. But I still did. I can't stop looking at my phone's timing whenever I know it's going to struck 12. Even when I'm at work doing my closing, I still call you and wish you. For this year, I convince myself to not do anything and tell myself I can't be bothered to plan anything for you. And I won't wish you at 12am. But guess what? I still did. I called you on 12am and last minute planned a tiny surprise for you. I start to wonder why am I doing all this, when I told myself not to.
Recently, I started to tell myself even if this ended, I can only blame my own capability, for not being able to make you stay with me. Because I've never thought of ending this when I choose to say yes and be together with you at that moment. I didn't get into this relationship thinking that I want to end it, I get into this relationship because I can feel that you're true to me and your actions moved me. I would probably agree when people say you're the first guy other than my bro and dad who loves me this much. The first 2 guy was probably just playing with me because to be honest, I can't feel their laugh for me neither can I see their actions. But you're the first one that let me saw your actions, words and the kind of feeling you gave me.
These few nights before I slept, I started thinking about us again and it come to a point that I realise some people in your and mine life, is a test to us. It's the obstacles in this relationship. It can't be me the only one who is trying to overcome it and you leaving the obstacles there. Please get through with me. And the message I sent you last night, I hope you feel how I feel at that point of time.
I love you klxh. Even though so many shits have been though us.
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