I hate it when I have problem when it comes to controlling my emotions.

I hate the period before I come Mense or during menses. I swear I would have bloody fuck up mood swing. I will get angry easily. And when I get really angry. I tend to burst out crying. But not infront of anybody. Just me alone inside my room. Some times I really got really tired of crying. Asking myself why am I so weak. Why can't I handle my emotions well. Why am I such a fucking cry baby. But every time I know after I cry finish, I would feel so much better. I admit I wasn't telling the truth to some of my friends. Because I'm afraid they would laugh at me. Scold me, reprimand me. When I talk, I care about others people's feeling and talk with caution. But why are people talking to me like I won't get sad or mad? WHY?! Aren't they know they're hurting me? Some of the people are really testing my patience. Everybody have limits. I'm just much more tolerant than others. I swear since the start of the year. I've cried infront of Boyf for at least 5 times already. I tried really hard to control. I tried. But I can't. I really cant... Emotion is one of my killer. My weakness