Just , kind of emotional today ...

Feeling emotional again . What's new . Sigh . I miss you so damn badly . Wanted to text you , but im controlling the urge . Because i know we will always end up quarreling , i end up crying . Ended up your day being ruined after seeing the text . So i shall just rant here .
Took out the cards i used to give you during all of our monthsaries . There goes me , seeing it while crying , remember us , bits by bits . Feeling so awful , you not being here with me .
11 more days to 3 months of you not being with me . Im still not used to life without you . Well , maybe used to a little bit .
Not used to you not being there , listening to all my rants . Telling you how's my work . How tired am i . Cos i know no matter what , you'll still be there to cheer me up , encourage me to do better in my work . Motivating me . No matter how pissed off i am with work , you will still be able to make me smile and cool down by just your sillest crap . A "Keep going" , "Jiayou" just keep me motivating .
That shows how easily contented i am . Because i just appreciate all the small little things you do .
It has not been a easy 3 months for me though . Because i miss you , i really really do . Every where i go is like just have the memories of us . Orchard , my house , cine , scape . Almost everywhere i go , memories of me and you start appearing in my mind .
Reminding me how tightly you used to hold my hand . Say you'll never let go . Laughing while walking .
Last friday , was running in gym . Then the next day , i had muscle ache . Difficulty walking down the stairs in school . There comes the memories again .
There was once i had a serious muscle ache , really difficult to make myself walking down the stairs . And you just said
" I piggy back you want anot ?"
"Huh , don't want lah . School leh ! "
"Never mind one luh dear . You walk until so xinku"
You being so sweet and thoughtful .
I love it when you piggy back me . The feeling of being so secure , so comfortable lying on your back . Acting like a small little kid . Pampering by you .
Everytime when you piggy back me , i will always ask her question . "I heavy anot ?"
And after you piggy backing me not even a minute . I would always say "Eh put me down put me down . You tired already . I know i very heavy"
And you just refused to .
Having a cough now . And i'll always remember how sweet you used to be . Calling me to drink water , take care . Not to eat tibits , cold stuff .
Was scooping rice for dinner just now . And i remember you always scold me for scooping the rice when it is really hot . You will always go like .
" You can wait for the rice to cool down a little bit already then you scoop anot ?"
BEcause you were afraid that i might get scald ..

I miss you boy ...