In the dream, Boyf was completely a changed person. He treat me damn cold. And a lot of girls was surrounding him. And I keep crying like mad everyday because I was feeling so onsecure. There's this one day he told me he don't want me alr. I got so sad. I got so pissed and sad. And in another moment, I dreamt that Rachael come back. Her eyes was telling me something. I remembered her face so clearly. She still love Boyf. And I have no idea why Boyf met up with her. They were standing side by side. Not really close but around 50cm apart. Suddenly, Rachel went closer to him. Put her hands on boyf's. Boyf looked at her and hugged her. I was behind witnessing very thing. I got so frustrated that I went up and pull Boyf. Keep hiting him because I was really damn freaking sad. He pushed me to the floor, hold Rachel's hand and walked away. Boyf went overseas with his friends later on and I went overseas with my friend too. Coincidentally we went to the same place, stayed at the same hotel. I still text him everyday to try to salvage this relationship. Then there was this moment that me and Boyf was alone. He treat me damn good. Just like in a relationship. But in an other moment he can treat me real cold like completely stranger.
Now it feels like nothing when I'm typing here. But it's damn surreal in the dream. I know I was dreaming in my dream. I forced myself to wake up in the dream but I failed to do so. So the dream just continue. The biggest impact was the moment when Boyf told me he dw me and the scene of him and Rachel.
Fucking hell damn it. If can I don't ever wish to dream of this kind of thing. Who likes it man. It dosent even feel good.
Was talking to bf last night. He asked me what I did just now and I said I talked to my parents. Then he suddenly ask. "Why? Your father talk about me again ah?" Then I was like "no? Infront of my mother where can talked about you." Then he said "no lah. I thought your mother 想通了" then my replied was. "Sorry hor. 她要到我23岁的时候才会想通" then Boyf went "HUHHHHHH?! Then I not need for 6 more years before you can 光明真大bring me go see your mother." Then I told him. " you want wait anot? Don't want wait it's okay one. Boyf: "wait. Why don't wait. Also wait before you so long alr before alr. "
Me: "Very difficult say oh. Between this 6 years can happen a lot of things one leh"
I really wish and pray hard nothing would happen man. But I know it's very difficult to control this kind of thing. But I really hope nothing will happen. I cannot imagine what will happen if the day really comes of the both of us seperating.
Till then.
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