Monday, September 23, 2013

Don't feel good

I'm not feeling good. As usual. I'm gonna rant. Idw to go to sleep with stupid thinkings and feeling so sad.
Quarreled with Boyf today while walking home with him. You know how my heart literally hurts when he just shoot out "是啦我还没有钱" that's the sentence that I don't want to hear the most from his mouth. It hurts me like fuck. I hate to hear him say this kind of thing. I swear I got so upset that I broke down and cry infront of him, beat him and bite him. Idk why I was doing that. But I really can't control. Cry like a mad girl and idk what's got into me. Plus he was continuously smoking 3 sticks of cig while walking. I got so posses off when he put the third stick inside his mouth I literally walk up to him and pull the cig out from his mouth. The most angry thing is that after I return him. He light it up and smoke again. 
I'm upset. Literally upset for the whole day. I don't know how to describe this feeling. But I just want to cry it all out. Wanna cry alone. Literally alone. 
Hate myself for being like this also. Really hate it. But I can't help it. URGHHHHHHHH

No comments: