Paranoid

Getting fucking paranoid that things wouldn't go my way especially when tomorrow is 11 monthsary with bf and Tuesday would be his birthday . Quarrelled with mum elders days ago and I'm so afraid she wouldn't let me go out . I have enough of disappointing boyfriend . I hate disappointing him . I wanna go out and celebrate our monthsary with him tomorrow . I want him to have a memorable birthday celebration on Tuesday . Planned everything . But just scared that mum's ruin it . When she doesn't let me go out , that's gone . But I always hope I can give the best thing to boyfriend . Eyelid's flickering non stop . And I'm feeling fucking paranoid now . Please please please . Let everything go smoothly . All I want is boyfriend to be happy .